Chapter Eleven

“I’m leaving,” Ben whispered in Tess’ ear. He had found her sleeping next to the catfish pond.

She opened her eyes without looking at him. They were bloodshot and puffy. “I knew you would,” she said. “How did I know you would?”

“Tomorrow, probably around noon,” he said. “I figure if Medias isn’t going to try to stop me—”

“No, Ben,” Tess said loudly, angrily. “Answer my question. How did I know you were going to want to leave? How do I always know? I find you when you yourself don’t even know where you’re going, I can tell when you’re lying, or when you’re hiding your emotions.” Tears started reforming at the corners of her eyes. “I’ve known you forever and I know everything about you and I don’t remember meeting you or what life was like without you…”

She continued to talk for a long time, but her eventual sobs began to muddle her words. Ben couldn’t think of anything constructive to do, so he just stood there, watching her. Once she had given herself over to weeping and lay curled up on her side, shaking and moaning incoherently, Ben knelt down and put an arm around her shoulders.

“Tess?” he asked tentatively. “Tess, come back.”

Several minutes passed. Ben sat quietly as Tess’ sobs relented and her shaking subsided. After what could have been a quarter of an hour, she was lying there, breathing in short, deep bursts, but she was in control again.

“You’re leaving.” Her eyes were closed and her face was peaceful.

“I don’t think I belong here anymore,” he said. “Martha told me something…” He trailed off. Tess’ eyes were pressed closed and she was biting her lip. “Wait, don’t get upset. Listen to me.”

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her eyes looked bluer than he had ever seen them before. The contrast between them and her face and hair was more startling this way.

“I want you to come with me,” he said. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

She blinked and her nose wiggled a little, something Ben recognized as her response to being caught off guard. “You want me to come with?”

“Yeah.” He tried to make his voice light and excited. “Think about all the things we’d see and experiences we’d have, and no one would be able to stop us.”

“I can’t go with you,” Tess said, sounding incredulous. “I can’t leave Medias.”

“What? Why not” Ben asked.

“My family is here—the other girls in the pre-lash house. As much as you mean to me, I don’t know that I can just leave them,” she said. “And what about Gus and Martha? Are you going to tell them before you go, or were you more hoping to leave a note on the table?”

A faint, high-pitched ringing bounced around the inside of Ben’s ears. “You mean…” He was unbelievably crestfallen. “You mean, you’d stay? You wouldn’t come with?”

“How can I?” she asked, her face pleading with him. “You’re tearing me in two! I knew this was going to happen as soon as Medias told you he wasn’t going to lift the denial, or even as soon as I saw that you were denied. I saw that look in your eye, the one you get when you get tired of fighting and realize your other options are limited. You get an idea in your head and you won’t stray from it, no matter what it means to anyone, including you and anyone around you.”

“I have to leave, Tess! There is no other way. What else am I supposed to do now? Sit around, doing nothing, knowing that the creature in charge of this forest is merely forestalling its death, and that it is the reason you and I can never—”

“What is so bad about Medias?” she asked. “What about this place is so abhorrent to you that it gives you no reason to stay?”

He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he just begged her with his eyes to understand. Her face, hardened against tears, became grave. She turned slowly and began to walk away.

“Tess…” he said, but he didn’t have anything to follow it.

She stopped, gave a small shudder, and broke into a run, leaving the clearing, heading straight for the heart of Medias.

Ben fell to his knees, torn with indecision. He looked up at the darkening sky overhead, feeling his face get hot and his eyes get wet. He screamed, hoping to burn his throat with the force of it, hoping to give himself physical pain to take away the pain in his mind.

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*Author's note: In the Word document where all of the story is originally written, this chapter has a couple thousand words I left out of here. That's because it was while writing this chapter that I realized just how far behind I was on word count and I had Ben and Tess start reciting the script from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. It was epic, but also unimportant to the plot.

Also, for anyone wondering about the conspicuous lack of certain chapters such as seven and four, I will assure you that there's most likely nothing of important information in them and I am simply uncomfortable with sharing them as they are. Thank you for your patience.